Complex

如果人生就像数字，
计划和想法能清楚的被计算，
生命就会拥有着固定的答案，
活着会变成一种工程式，
大家都变得很简单，
算式人生比童话更荒藐，
童话里的皇后都会有心机，
我们的心更是深沉难解，
偶尔有人对我说他了解我，
知道我在想什么，
我微笑沉默无言，
连我都不知到自己再想什么，
他人居然知道，
那是真的知道，
还是一种安慰..

all about us

sze yee came to kl for 3 days and 2 night,

as she reached, i let she waited me for half an hour,

felt quite sorry about that..

then we went for kfc,

after that we went back to UTAR at pj site,

i felt that campus really will let she feel kampar is heaven,

i wish to be with she at kampar too...

then we went to sunway for window shopping,

we are so lucky to get the girl bus,

we just walk around and mark down what we want...

the main purpose is to meet jh and edan,

while about ivan, he absent again and again...

a nice dinner at kim gary,

chit chat, laugh, joke and smile,

that us, we are crazy..

we seldom say "how are you recently, anything i can help u?"

but we used to say "your life sure is damn pity without me!"

hahax... that is another way to communicate..

and we like to slap and bite each other,

MISS THEM VERY MUCH...

besides my sze yee went to six shopping center in a day,

sure she is very tired,

but i like to bring she walk around,

kampar is a good place to rest,

she can go back to rest after that..

felt quite sorry to she for let she to carry those text book with me,

however that is edan chang fault..

i will always remember the scene where sze yee sit at the roadside,

feel like a phillipine worker at that moment...

finally she still decide to go back on sunday,

but at least she postponed to night,

we went to sunway pyramid again,

miss to eat mamak with she..

is quite long we didn't meet together,

feel so warm to be with them, 
planning to go to genting highlands with them,

wish that coming gathering will be more and more people...

for angie, edan and jia hui,

we will meet at least once a week!!

back

i wish to back to kampar, 
back to the life i used to be,
because i know everything there,
i have my friend there,
but i know i cant do so...
i must let myself to be stronger,
adapt to a new environment,
we cant back to the past, 
as life keep moving,
i have to look forward..
i wish to back to the time when im staying at old house,
a family sleep in a big room,
after bath we need to ask mummy what should we wear,
queer up and wait for the punish of the day,
asking mummy to get more soup for us,
cause we are not high enough..
always sit on daddy leg,
i am always at his right side,
while my sister will be at the left..
i remember the way he smile to us,
brother will buy us some snack after school,
and we keep all of that in a cupboard,
but finally all spoilt..
we are so young on that time,
but that is very far away from now,
i miss everything so much,
but i shouldn't wish to go back,
i need to learn to be a better girl,
i don't want them to worry and take care for me,
change the position, 
i want to own that ability to take care of them..

back to school

but this back to school don't need to buy uniform,

don't have a new school bag,

don't need to wear white shoes with white socks,

then what i have to do??

coming to a whole new place,

i am going to meet some new people here,

i am ready for that,

continue fighting tomorrow...

wohoo, i think everything will be fine,

i wish so,

i will try my best in my last semester...

ALL THE BEST TO MY FRIEND TOO!!

movie day

last movie i watched with them is harry porter,

just i shout like hell,

this time we went for movie again,

location is pavillion,

and we laugh like hell, 

we laugh before the movie start until we are out of cinema,

we aren't mad, but we really happy,

today is a great day..

lunch at subway,

dinner at madam kwan,

dessert at snowflakes,

whats a costly day,

but i enjoy every moment to hang out with them..

thought of a friend when have dinner at madam kwan,

the nasi lemak at setapak really so nice,

i do wish they have a good ending,

however that is past tense,

he should grow and learn to be a better man..

sorry for been late and let them wait today,

promise no next time,

i miss them so much...

my darling is going back to kampar tomorrow,

haiyoyo, i miss kampar pun,

i nak balik kampar visit old folks there..

i am planning, finding a suitable time to go back..

next week i am going to back to UTAR,

but is at PJ site..

i am too free for this holiday,

i want to study so much,

miss the day rush for exam with them..

sze yee, shuishui, wawa, nigel, weng yan and etc....

miss them badly seh,

i want a big hug from them so much..

new chapter at PJ

when i step in my new room,

i heard the scream from the bottom of my heart,

WHAT THE FUCK!

but my parents are beside me,

so i just give a smile and assume that is all right..

this room make me feel like back to granny house,

the stone floor and old type window,

while, all of this is just part of my nightmare...

when i step into the bathroom,

i found no heater,

but i used to bath with hot water..

then my brother tell me,

the owner is quite troublesome,

she say we cant use her refrigerator and washing machine,

we cant even go into her kitchen...

FINE, i can cope that,

just keep quiet and thinking what will happen after that,

while my sister say she want to go home,

okok, i just can try to be more strong...

while after everything done,

my parents went home,

then i found that i cant online,

the owner say the line is full and ask me to open a new line,

everything different with what she promised before,

my brother talk to she then she give me the wireless password,

i tried for day and night but failed,

then i get the p1 from my friend and call the house owner to inform she,

now only she say maybe she gave a wrong password,

can i say go to hell to she...........

no, i cant, give she a smile close her call,

finally i can online,

but just for few hours,

lappy is out of battery,

now only i found my "baby boy and girls" bite my charger wire,

so no internet connection,

stay in the room with my sister,

nothing that we can do,

that is my sunday..

went to utar on monday,

i thought that it is near to my housing area,

so i walk there,

it is a long distance,

when i reach the utar,

i found that it isn't the block i need to go,

so i took taxi to the other side,

the journey of utar is killing me..

luckily i have a nice lunch with my friend at jaya one,

that make me feel kl life isn't that hard,

that is my monday..

then i when to mid valley to meet mr.edan n dave,

that really great,

we still chit chat and laugh together like before,

that make me feel warm,

i miss everyone so much,

when can we all sit down and have 杂饭 at 88..

i miss the day at kampar so much,

miss all my friends over there,

i want to have bbq with them...

while about today,

i need to stay  home and wash clothes...

what is going to happen on coming day,

wish that will be some surprise..

brave enough for myself

talk to me when i need some comfort,

give me a warm hug,

find me some simple joke,

smile to me,

thats all i need..

is it too simple,

so it become hard to fulfill,

then i better be strong,

be independence..

exception

am i single or available,
ya i am...
i am single but not available, 
the answer is still the same all the time,
cause u ask for the chance,
but what u show me is still the same..
discussing what others wearing,
life always surrounded with branded issue,
whats more?
i dun want to be your queen,
u make me feel like a sister,
or maybe can be a mother..
damn irritating when i saw those again,
i dun like the people around u,
dislike u fulfill your life with those rubbish..
is it ur standard is just depend on those branded,
a jerk with burberry consider gentleman in ur mind?
I'm just wondering,
when can u wake up from this..
oh gosh...luckily u din got tht as birthday present,
if not maybe u will open an album for that,
capture down those plastic and card,
cause u never low profile what...
WORDLESS..